Sunday, April 1, 2018

Hi Grandma

Sarah Hester Younker died on Easter morning, 1998 of a stroke. Being Easter, a priest was doing the rounds at the Irvin S. Cobb Hotel and Retirement Community. When he reached Sarah’s room on the seventh floor, there was no answer. Once management got the door open, they found her on the kitchen floor in a pool of buttermilk. She hadn’t eaten for a few weeks due to a stroke in March, and buttermilk was about all she could get down. 

Sarah converted to Catholicism during her first and only marriage. She had been a widow since 1948 when her husband was killed by a hit and run driver on his way to dinner at a military base in post-war Manilla. Her daughter was less than a year old in 1948, and never met her father. Sarah was born in 1921 and grew up in an orphanage. She had no memory of her parents. I was born in 1970 to Sarah’s only child. Mom was divorced before I was born. My father rarely visited, and I haven’t seen him since 1979. I was raised by Grandma and Mom in tandem. Sarah was a stay at home Grandma, and Mom was a single working parent. Sometimes I say I had 2 Moms, but that just causes confusion. It’s truer to say that my mother took on the paternal role, and Grandma the maternal one. 

The final time I spoke to her was about 10 days before she died. She hadn’t eaten for a few weeks, and her doctor suspected, but could not prove, that she had suffered from a stroke that resulted in a total loss of appetite. I cried and begged her to be strong and eat. I assured her that I was in a good place in my life, and that I would marry my then-girlfriend. We both knew that it was going to be one of our last talks. My first marriage lasted just long enough to keep the promise. 

Sarah showed love through things and food. She was physically affectionate as well, but the largest demonstrations came from cooking and money. She didn’t have a lot of money, but she was incredibly generous. I never wanted for a toy or a comic book in my childhood. Being Easter today, I have a strong sense of some of the gifts she shared on that holiday throughout my youth. I got my first Star Wars toy in 1978 as an Easter gift. C-3PO. The next year it was a Spider-Man paperback book reprinting the best of Steve Ditko’s work on the character. In 1987, it was the Sugarcubes first EP- Birthday. She didn’t leave the house much by then, and she asked the owner of Ken’s Records to pick out something and bring it by the apartment for me. 

I associate so much food with her. Chili, German potato salad, chocolate merengue pie, mashed potatoes, goulash, mashed turnips, fried chicken, catfish, corn on the cob, green beans cooked for hours, pot roast. We would get fancy food together. For the Kentucky Derby we’d drink wine coolers and eat shrimp cocktail. She got caviar for my birthday once. Her chocolate milkshakes were delicious and were used to get my weight up from 135 to 145 pounds my senior year in high school. I was so slight and walked everywhere. She committed herself to fattening me up so my ribs didn’t show. If only we had know that in another year I would take on alcohol as a food group and add 40 pounds all on my own. She supported my vegetarian diet, but still understood that pot roast was the only meal I would eat on my birthday. She didn’t really judge much. 

I lived with her twice. From birth to 1981, then from 1986-1991. During the gap Mom got remarried. Grandma got her own apartment, and welcomed me back to it after the husband beat me too much. In 1991 I encouraged her to move back to Paducah from Louisville. She grew up in Paducah and still had friends and family there. I knew I would eventually be leaving Kentucky for good, and felt she needed to be somewhere with more support. My last call to her was placed from Austin, Texas. 

Sarah has been in my thoughts for several days. Sometimes I get to her memory through the comic books I read. The Avengers comic from 1979 I read yesterday? She bought that for me at Wobbe’s Pharmacy while we picked up her prescriptions. Reflecting on her, I picked up an old Fantastic Four comic today. It’s one she might have bought for me had she lived. Last night I watched a documentary on Chinese food. It reminded me of the restaurant we would go to for special occasions. Today my wife and I had lunch at a Chinese place in our Dallas neighborhood. I wish they could have met. We could have shared an order of egg rolls.

I have this fear that I am going to be the last living person with memories of her. Once I go, she goes. I wanted to get a little bit of that down before I started to forget. 

Saturday, May 20, 2017

What Do You Like About She-Hulk?

My wife asked me that recently. I was (am) going through some kind of comic book collecting mid-life crisis. It involves reading hundreds of issues of Incredible Hulk, and buying every comic I owned or saw out of the corner of my eye between 1974 and 1981. This obsessive path lead me to purchasing every issue of She-Hulk. 

When I say every issue, I don’t mean just the 25 issue series that ran from 1980-1982. I mean her key appearances in the Fantastic Four, her first Avengers issue, the Ceremony limited series, the Marvel Graphic Novel, the 60 issue Sensational She-Hulk run, that random one-shot Brian Hitch did between Authority and Ultimates, the Dan Slott runs, the Peter David issues, the Charles Soule series, and the current Hulk series where Jennifer Walters takes over the Hulk name, but doesn’t turn into Hulk for the first 5 issues. Even the romance novel :”The She-Hulk Diaries”. The grand total? About 160 issues. 

It was a sickness that wouldn’t let go. I had to have all of them. I compulsively upgraded some trashed issues from the first series. I had to outbid what I can only assume was one sad individual trying to win the “naked jump rope” issue. WHO’S THE SAD ONE NOW LOSER???

When my wife asked me “what do I like about She-Hulk” it was not an invalid inquiry. 

She-Hulk was the first series I collected every issue of as a kid. It was also the first comic book I heard about through the media. The Incredible Hulk TV show was at its peak, and when Marvel decided to ensure no network could rip off the Hulk with a green super-heroine. As insurance against that unlikely event, Stan Lee and John Buscema created the first issue of the Savage She-Hulk. The series warranted a blurb on the news wires which I saw in the local paper. This article was very much in my area of interest, and made finding the series a mission for my 9 year old self. However, newsstand distribution of comics was tricky, and I was just starting to become aware of comic book shops. 

The first issue I found was #3. From there, I bought the series whenever I could find it. Sometimes Convenient Food Mart would have it, other times Taylor Drugs, or Wobbe’s Pharmacy, Drug World, or Kwik Stop. 

The real shift in my ability to become a She-hulk completist happened when I was able to access my first comic shop- The Great Escape. They had 10 and 25 cent boxes of back issues, which supplied me with missed issues of Micronauts, and Star Wars, as well as the now-infamous Giant Size Man-Thing #1, issues of Flash, DC Comics Presents, and Vault of Evil. She-Hulk was also well-represented among these unloved cast offs. 

I filled in the gaps, and even sprang for the first issue. It was probably $1, big money for the era. In it, I discovered that She-Hulk's powers came from a blood transfusion given to her by her cousin Bruce Banner. She inherited the Hulk powers, and Banner vanished, the connection rarely to be addressed again. By the time issue 16 came out, I found a Convenient Food Mart that regularly carried the series each month. When it was cancelled with issue 25 I had them all. It was my first complete run of anything. That made it a little magical. 

This first run of She-Hulk had several elements that kept my attention. One, and I wasn’t aware of this factor at the time, was that the lead character was a brash jade giantess running around in an indestructible yet tattered slip. Reviewing the comics, there is definitely an undercurrent of fetishization in the art. As Jennifer Walters, she was an accomplished attorney juggling a couple of goofy slacker boyfriends. The lucky fellows were a surfer named Zapper and a community radio host who occasionally hung out with Man-Thing, Richard Rory. Neither were real prizes. 

My Mom wanted to be a lawyer, so I felt a connection to the Jennifer Walters half of the equation. My connection to She-Hulk probably stemmed from the part of me that knew puberty was coming and was responding to the Amazonian alter ego. 

Her conflicts month to month were not the typical super villain lineup. Over the 25 issue series she had boy troubles, fought a swamp monster, several robots, a black woman whose only crime was being a shitty jazz singer with diabetes and a case of narcissism, battled a guy going blind from corporate misuse of microwaves, grappled with a huckster preacher’s daughter, went to war with a werewolf/astronaut on a miniature world captured on a necklace, argued with her sheriff father a lot, and beat up a dude in a hydraulic elephant suit. 

Laying it all out like that, why did I love the series? The art was well done. Mike Vosburg drew 24 of the issues, and he had a passion for the subject matter. In fact, I would spot his art 15 years later in some fetish magazines. Also, I enjoyed the stories, as weird as they can be made to sound. David Anthony Kraft was a solid author, and at age 9 and 10 I was really hit by the pathos of the failed singer going into a diabetic coma. Her only crime was being an insufferable diva with no talent. The microwave dude was just trying to go Earth First on the company that had made him blind through corporate negligence. The villains were either sympathetic individuals fighting back at the man, or they were corporations and other authority figures, like the preacher, misusing their power. The stories had an undercurrent of liberal social activism running through them. Well, except the hydraulic elephant guy. That was just bizarre. 

After the series came to an end I continued to follow the character. This was neither expensive, or challenging. She was not popular. There was an issue of Dazzler, a Marvel Team-Up with Spider-Man, a Marvel Two-In-One with the Thing, and that was about it. She was brought into the Avengers after a couple of years, and I got a few off those. In general though, I didn’t care about the Avengers, just She-Hulk. She was just part of a group of costumes at that point, lacking the weird charm of her solo series. 

In 1985 the character replaced the Thing in Fantastic Four for 3 years. I was in luck, as I was already buying Fantastic Four. Only a couple of issues really focused on her, most notably an issue where. A”celebrity skin” photographer caught her nude sun bathing. Due to a printing mix up, the photos were published color corrected. In other words, she was portrayed as white, not a green gamma irradiated goddess. It was a nutty story, kind of racy, and pretty entertaining to me as a 15 year old. Despite the questionable themes, She-Hulk was generally used well during this run. The creator, John Byrne, was starting to sow the seeds of how she would be handled in the character’s next solo series. 

The second series, The Sensational She-Hulk, debuted in 1989. John Byrne approached the run as a comedy. She-Hulk was aware she was in a comic book, and would make asides to the reader and the creator. It was good, but my interests were focused on more esoteric and edgier comics at the time. I was 19 after all, and comics just weren’t for kids anymore. Reading it from the perspective of a 46 year old, it’s a pretty good time overall, but occasionally tires to hard to be clever. The above-mentioned "naked jump rope" issue was a Byrne issue. It both mocked the concept of She-Hulk as a fetish figure, and embraced it at the same time. It's hard to tell if a blow for or against feminism was being struck here. 

I didn’t pick up another She-hulk comic until 2005. Dan Slott was writing the character, and I had heard good things about the run. I knew Slott from the Ren and Stimpy comics in the 90s. Those were very well done, and often laugh out loud funny. I hoped Slott’s light touch would be a good fit. It was. I fell in love with his take immediately. This series may be where I can finally answer my wife’s question. She-Hulk is portrayed as a crutch for Jennifer Walters to use to be her true self. She’s embarrassed by her plainness, and spends almost all of her time in the She-Hulk form to do what she can’t as Jen. However, She-Hulk often goes too far, and doesn’t worry about consequences. She can be shallow, sleeping with sexy models and super heroes cohorts, but not forming any meaningful connections. Jen needs connections, and tends to date men that love her but not She-Hulk. However, Jen then resents them for not loving what she thinks of as her best self, and accuses them of being scared of her strength. The thing is, it’s not her best self. It's like an alcoholic being mad that you don't like that aspect of them best. She’s both people. Each one has strengths and flaws, and they are not the same. She’s neglects her Jennifer Walters self to feed her She-Hulk self. 

The best super heroes are metaphors, and Slott found the metaphor for She-Hulk. Bruce Banner/Hulk faces the man/monster schism. It’s tragic, heartbreaking, and dark. Jen Walters/She-Hulk is a duality of self esteem. She-Hulk’s impulsiveness and confidence versus Jen’s introversion and caution. 

Slott's simplest example of the balance between Jen and She-Hulk involves She-Hulk being forced into a boxing match with the universe's toughest entity. She-Hulk just isn't strong enough. It's when she realizes that making Jen physically stronger improves her strength as She-Hulk that a bridge is made between the two halves of herself. Ultimately, she wins the match by applying her legal mind to the situation. It's a challenge so difficult that it requires that all aspects of her be at their best. 

Slott's stories made explicit a depth to the character that in retrospect can be seen as lurking just under the surface throughout the character's history. It's a crucial part of the character that is missed by focusing on comedy or action above the needs of the character. 

Looking at the covers of 160 issues of She-Hulk involves not judging a book by its cover. The early days display an angry green woman running around in her underwear. The late 90s are comedic covers mixed with a winking and juvenile sexuality. More modern takes display cheesecake, pin-up style art as a wrapper for quirky inventive art and clever stories with emotional depth. It's all nice art, but does a disservice to the stories inside. 

They look like comics you have to justify a love for. They look like comics that lead to your wife asking the question “what do you like about She-Hulk?”

Monday, January 30, 2017

Dial Nein

Does anyone remember when all of the existing ambassadors were directed to be gone from their posts by Noon January 20? It was big news right at Christmas, but faded into the background behind the other 1,000 things to happen since.

In retrospect this wasn't a show of gross incompetence and inexperience. It was step one towards the new paradigm. They aren't just consolidating power, they are consolidating communication.

If you want to talk to Trump, you're going to get Trump unfiltered. Not some weak willed negotiating College girl with a Masters, fluency in 11 languages, and 20 years diplomatic experience. No, you're going to get The Man or one of his surrogates.

"Dial 9 for the Alt-Right Neo-Nazi's office, or please hold so you can go fuck yourself."

DT is used to being the face of his brand. He lives and works in the same building. Trump tower as a business and as a residence were indistinguishable. I don't expect him to do a lot of traveling to meet with leaders. Leaders will be expected to come to him. You don't like it? Tough shit.

Imagine DT relaxed, mindlessly eating Doritos while watching the No Spin Zone. Ruling the world from his recliner. The only information he receives comes from Steve Bannon, the TV, and his limited imagination where 1984,120 Days of Sodom, and Garden of Earthly Delights are depictions of paradise.

A dusting of Dorito spice powder is smeared over The Button, as he fiddles with it mindlessly. He is enjoying the anticipation of waiting for O'Reilly to report something alarming about China.

His thumb lifts, then relaxes. "Not tonight, Jina," he murmurs as he drifts off to an insurance ad. "Only tweets for you tonight. Next time."



Wednesday, January 25, 2017

DT Week One

America First
Alternative Facts
Torture
The Wall
Illegal Detention
Extreme vetting
Hiring freeze
Enemies List
Unqualified cabinet choices and cronyism
Journalists as Adversaries
Nepotism
Extreme Vetting
Gag orders
Conflicts of Interest
Emoluments
Standing Rock
Arresting Journalists
Narcissistic obsession about election and inauguration crowds
Election fraud lies
Martial Law threats
Gutting ACA/Medicaid/Medicare
Defunding PBS, NPR, NEA etc.
Punishing sanctuary cities
Tweet storms
Isolationism
Russia intervention
Suppressing scientific data
Cutting global women's health funding
Empowering unconstitutional efforts in Republican states


Saturday, December 31, 2016

Spicy Black Eyed Peas

2 cups dry black eyed peas
6 cups beef broth or water/broth mix
1 med onion, diced
2 jalapeƱos (or pepper of choice) minced
12 oz salt pork
1 tbsp oregano
1 tsp thyme
1/4 tsp sage
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
2 tsp salt
2 bay leaves

Optional: 1 tsp pepper, garlic cloves to taste.
Vegetarians: 4 tbsp olive oil instead of pork

Rinse dry beans. Cube salt pork. Put all ingredients in pressure cooker, stirring to mix. Cook on high heat for 55 minutes. Let sit, sealed, for 1 hour. Serve with cornbread and hot sauce.  Remove salt pork before serving or storing if it grosses you out.


Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Doctor Strange Review

Doctor Strange came out at exactly the right time. A magnificently gifted surgeon and extreme narcissist obsessed with pop trivia pays too much attention to his cell phone and destroys his greatest gift in a devastating car crash that he should have seen coming. With the help of a multi-cultural coalition he learns a whole new perspective on the world, breaks the spell of his own ego and privileged life only to save the world from a group of anarchists set on bringing the world permanent profound fascism while dressed as one bad ass mofo.

Five days later America experienced the first part of that summary. Our car is still bouncing down the wet ravine, the final impact still to come. CGI blood is in the air, shattered glass making beautiful patterns in the night air.

The landing is going to fucking hurt, and the recovery is going to be unconventional beyond what we can imagine right now.

I've read a ton of Dr. Strange comics, and he always pulls it together in the end even when he has had to recreate the whole Universe from scratch. Get some candles, write some spells, have a team-up, do some magic.

Monday, November 14, 2016

New Day

This has been an intense week, and it's just the beginning. 
We are stocking the tool box and building the infrastructure for what we need to fight. Not everything is going to work, but it is way too soon to throw an idea out before it has had time to be tested. What I think we may want to keep in mind is that everyone has a different fighting style. We need to give people the autonomy to go to where their strengths are. 
Marching, donating money, donating time, posting, wearing symbols, petitioning, singing, writing, making pictures and videos, telling jokes, going to meetings, reading, vetting sources and communicating our actions to the world are all crucial parts of a holistic approach to the New Culture War. 
The President Elect is on 60 Minutes tonight outlining how to deport 1% of the US population on day 1. He brought a known anti-Semite and conspiracy "journalist" on as chief strategist. They are getting their army together, and their strength is also their weakness. They organize around authority and dogma. 
I would like to think our opposition is made of people that value ideological freedom, freedom from authority, kindness, acceptance, free expression, and that realize their personal dogma may not fit everyone. 
We can be lighter, move faster, and are open to trying a thousand different approaches while they are limited to what their figurehead demands. What they may miss is that they are a part of the same whole as we are. A society like ours doesn't function as top down, but as all together.